Thursday, July 27, 2006


Tremble again
It’s only cold
Its only snow

Save your breath
The night is young
And so are you

Moonlight shows so much
Weathered eyes
Tattooed arms

Pull yourself together
Morning’s coming
Ever so swift

Your heart’s on a tether
Pull it back
If you still can

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Love and Swimming

I am a sinner, you are a saint.
I’m frayed at the edges, your always so straight.
I’ll sing you a love song, but I know you wont care.
Cause I am invisible, and you just aren’t there.

And I’d swim the ocean
I’d span the sea
I’d lay down my pride
just to hear that you love me
and I would send letters
every single day
if only I knew
you’d never go away

I am a pauper, baby your glamorous
I’m trying to grow up, you already found yourself
I’ll buy you a big ring, but I know it wont fit
I might as well surrender, cause you always win

And maybe I’m not what you want
but my mom thinks I’m doing just fine
and you say your just looking for adventure
well if you got a map, then ive got the time.

Friday, July 21, 2006


Slowly. One at a time.
It all came back.
Nothing as particular as birthdays
or family trips. But all too memorable.
Baseball games, broken fingers,
backyard forts, meteor showers.
Single points. None important.
None forgotten.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Always Smile (July)

She said always smile
Even when it hurts the most
Breathe in deep, tell me you love me
and that this is not goodbye

Write your name, on my lips
trace my eyes with your fingertips
and don’t forget to kiss me once
before you walk away

This is how it is
lost inside the sentiment of a
lazy summer and endless nights of
talking about nothing

I miss you

She said cry, anytime
don’t be afraid to show your alive
Hold my hand, let me go
I swear I didn’t mean to

This is how it is
lost inside the politics of
a meaningful surrender of
everything I have

She said I am so sorry
I just don’t think I can take this
It’s better off
We’re better off
Living different lives
Writing our own letters
To other boys, and other girls
please don’t be bitter
you know I’ll always love you
deep inside my heart
but it’s different now
its different now.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sleep, Bono, and Making a Difference

So the greatest thing that I can never get enough of is sleep. It never fails that whenever I go to rest my head my mind decides to take a turn for the rational and I begin to think about everything that is going on in my life, good bad, or boring. This little fact leads to a really short amount of sleep for the mere fact that I always stay out late and then it takes me between 45 minutes and an hour to calm my mind down enough to actually sleep. This week has been especially hard with work being very long and I just dont seem to be able to get enough rest to function at the level that I need to for an intense 12 hour day. So with everything going on I am now exhausted at just about every moment of the day. I always wonder what Bono would do in a situation like this. I think he would put a new pair of sunglasses on and kinda shrug and say something like "sleep is something only the wicked can endure for their lack of conscience." He always says something amazing like that. I think it would be really cool to have the notoriety that Bono gets but I am not sure that I am prepared enough to handle the heavy weight that the world has come to expect him to carry. Could I take the extreme media pressure and keep my sanity? That's something that I am hoping to be able to answer in about 15 years. I know that I have something inside me that can make a difference in this broken world. Now all I have to do is figure out just how to unleash it without burning everyone around me.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Thoughts on Returning to 7th Street

I remember the smell,
the wood groaning beneath the weight
of my mother’s feet as she
went about her day.

It was always chicken on Tuesday
With macaroni and green beans
and plastic cups of lemonade.
Times were simple. That was all
that I had ever known, no glamour,
no shine, just dinner at seven.
She always paid close attention
to detail. One fourth cup of sugar,
two pinches of salt, and a teaspoon
of brown sugar to keep the kids happy.
She never cried. Like a tree house with
nothing inside, she stood tall. I wanted
to ask her why, but I wouldn’t understand.

Her hands moved victoriously
over everything she handled. I always watched
in awe as she made something from nothing.
I remember she cut herself with an old pearing
knife no bigger than my six year old thumb. She just
smiled and reminded me to be careful
no matter what I did.
I wish I would have listened.

Friday, July 07, 2006


And the last time
wont be the last time
that you will see my face

Im breaking down
Caving slowly
Underneath this weight of everything

It wasn’t supposed to be this way
I looked to far ahead
Stumbled between the lines
got lost in her face

She said
Steady now I cant stand falling
(you wanted it, you wanted it)
Steady now this seems too simple
(Trust me, just trust me)
Steady now my hands are shaking
(Just slow down, please slow down)
Steady now my dreams are fading
in your eyes….
I don’t want to fall away
So keep me steady

And the drive home
Longer then before
In the middle of the darkness

Just trying
Desperately searching
keeping my eyes on the road

And tomorrow comes so slowly
night’s become my day
And she’s lost inside the morning
And I am still awake

…deep inside
carry me when I cant walk
take my hand, watch me sleep
never let me go….

Steady now I cant stand falling
Steady now lets keep this simple
Steady now my hands are freezing
Steady now, its you I’m needing
in my life….
I just cant lose you
So keep me steady

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Love (Lightning on a Clear Day)

like lightning
to unpredictability

hard to find
harder to handle

like her eyes
against the water

like thunder
in a parking garage





Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Road Flares

It always seems that no matter how good things are going your mind likes to play tricks on you. I like to call these little trips road flares. Points along your journey when your eyes are drawn to something that is bright and shiny but has no clear purpose in your trip. Most of the time it just succeeds in making the journey to your destination longer. Sure sometimes it warns of impending danger but when do you ever see it as that. They are simply glowing sticks of distraction. I wish that I didnt find these objects so fascinating and then lose sight of what exactly it is that I am headed for. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I wish life was just a little more clear and that i didnt have to be constantly distracted by little things that I know are just road flares that will burn out. It's all temporal but I cant seem to get that into my head.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Finding My Future In The Past

Grandma Jesse always said
bones were like ice.
Prone to break
and crack
if not filled with something.

My bones are full of music.
You can’t hear it
but the melody
be screaming out your name.

I sat for hours listening as her tired lips
talked of Dizzy, Glen, his band, and of course
I was only five and stuck inside a musty house
watching every move she made as she crocheted
a new bookmark for the piano player at church.
I think it was her hands. They captivated me.
Cracked and fragile from life,
they always made me wonder
about how she used to be.

My Ross had the music in him too.
You’re gonna be just like him,
I can feel it.

Maybe that’s why I sat there?
A five year old finding himself
in his grandma’s placid eyes
and seeing he has just so far to go.